“Put down That Dialogue Tag and Nobody Gets Hurt” by Adam Buckley

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The dialogue tag is like a rogue with a heart of gold. At times, it's a valuable ally to the author, while at others, you can’t seem to trust your reliance on it. If you're my age (20 years young) then you might recall your English teachers doing everything in their power to get you to not use “said.” The logic there isn’t faulty. “Said” is boring, uninsightful, and does nothing to modify the dialogue in a way that helps the reader understand how the dialogue is being…said. It's inescapable, and maybe that isn’t such a bad thing after all. 

Like any discussion about writing, when it comes to when and how to use dialogue, there are no rules and plenty of exceptions. I argue that all dialogue tags have their own purposes, and it's our responsibility (and joy) as writers to discern when to go over the top with “shrieked,” “grated” or “ejaculated,” versus when a simple “said” will get the job done. 

The practical argument for “said” starts with an application of Occam's Razor. Since it's the simplest solution to the dialogue problem, there’s no harm in a liberal use of it. As a practical writer myself, I accept this argument without much complaint, because the honest truth is that I, like many others, ignore dialogue tags altogether. You’re either cheering or groaning after reading that, but hear me out. Oftentimes, the reader can safely intuit the manner in which a line of dialogue is meant to be spoken in context, and dialogue tags, which are meant to control and enable the flow of speech, become a barrier to those things. 

I will, however, defend the use of other tags, specifically ones that modify volume. “Whispered,” “screamed,” “muttered,” are all play a much larger role in shaping how the reader will interpret a line than ones that merely describe tone. Accurately describing the volume at which the speaker is projecting is really all the reader needs, as they can then fill in the rest with their own imagination. 

The “Said is Dead” debate is a smokescreen hiding a greater debate about dialogue tags in general. Instead of asking how, we should be asking why. I’m a “said” advocate, but I’m also an advocate for tag abstinence. Have a little faith in your reader. Have a little faith in yourself. If you’ve adequately established an engaging context for a scene, the dialogue takes care of itself. I often load nearly every line with adverbs and tags on a first draft, but when editing, I feel that the scene isn’t just as readable without them, but better off for it. So lay down your arms, soldier. The war’s over. “Said” is dead.